Finding the "Gift" in Grieving - 5 Key🗝 Points to Healing Grief
Recognize that when someone dies, you experience a divorce, or a painful breakup, a diagnoses of disease - loss of a job - and especially if you feel this incredible sadness for no apparent reason (empathy)- you are grieving!
Your presence here in the world and (certainly if you've found your way to my blog )- makes you a deeply caring and awake individual - our time here - at this time - brings our empathy and deep feeling to the surface - everyone on the planet is experiencing some form of grief - (whether we admit it or not) - we live in a time of such unrest, we as a species have certainly added to the complexities of our world environment - bring our sense of sadness to the surface - this is grieving!
The contrast between the terrible and the beauty in life - this awakens us!
I also feel compelled to add - that "passages" in life also bring up our grief - living through the decades of each passage brings a new awareness and cycle of growth and grief- we grieve the old and fear the next chapter stepping into "what's next"? How will I make the next ten years more meaningful and how do I let go of "old ways and patterns" of thinking, being and behaving? We are comfortable with the known and uncomfortable with the unknown.
My journey over the last five months has been a heightened understanding of grief, and so I have acquired some "Keys" to healing grief.
When thinking of sharing this topic with you, some reluctance has come up - as my thoughts are:
Who wants to look at Grief?
Who wants to examine pain? I do I do - said no-one ever!
Our culture doesn't permit, or honor - grief or grieving - at least not for very long - and the avoidance of pain in our self and others is EVERYWHERE - We spend most of our life avoiding fear, and numbing our pain … Need I mention the Billions of dollars spent in America on avoidance ?- the list would be daunting and would distract us from our pain …
Questions of "appropriateness" of grief come to my mind -
- How much time is allowed for my grief?
- When is it appropriate to talk about my grief and with whom?
- Can I still cry even after five months?
- When will the sadness diminish?
- It is ok that I feel waves of grief at the most unsuspecting moments? - and God forbid I should have an experience of grief with strangers in public!
What I have found is when I allowed my grief to arise and not judge it - by wearing my heart on my sleeve and giving myself permission to truly "feel" - (it's not been an easy period of my life - but, it has brought an awareness and a richness to my life that I more than likely would have never experienced if it were not for the loss of my brother) - Major Alchemy has taken place …
I feel that this is worthy of sharing - and my hope and intention is … one or more of you reading this has a breakthrough and also experiences the "Gift" in grieving.
I have heard it said that "Suffering Gives You X-Ray Vision into other Peoples Suffering" - and my commitment as a Life Coach is to apply my X-Ray vision to your life so we can see together the Alchemy to turn suffering into a Gift…
Out of grief sprouts our soul's purpose. It's presenting itself to us; only if we get quiet and honor our grief there is indeed a gift!
1. Allow yourself space to "grieve" - what does this mean?
Take Time to be alone - with no distractions - even for just a half an hour - daily.
Take time to meditate and go inward to experience more of your divinity.
Take time to heal and love yourself.
Take time to - make sure you're not allowing distractions to take you away from your grief.
Grief has a season - you cannot force it to bloom and complete itself while it's in its winter allow the process to unfold - don't force.
2. Know that this too shall pass - it is a painful time but, like all states, it will pass. Have a deep awareness of this in your soul - Know it, in those quiet moments of meditation and connection to your higher self - hear it.
3. This is the time to put the situation on your "Alter" - the Alter is in the mind - be willing to have the situation reinterpreted from an internal source that is not your own … but a source outside yourself - that is your higher self - God, the Universe - whatever you call it. What I mean by this is give your pain and sadness to a power greater than yourself - ask to see the situation differently.
4. Avoid asking "Why" Questions - Ask instead the question - What is the meaning of this pain - what is calling me to understand? Listen to the silent witness - you will find the answer in that place.
5. Don't waste time on unimportant things - know your loved ones better. Feel more deeply, don't waste time in loving people. Heartache is truly where do you become wiser. Love is real, and nothing else exists.
Wisdom comes from experience and sometimes from a very painful one - and then you are better. And then you're different - you're ready to move forward in life and not reenact the same old - same old - having a more expanded life because your heart and mind have expanded -
Love is real and nothing else exists.
Love is all that matters.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
Love works miracles - mercy, compassion and forgiveness -
What to do with a friend that is grieving? - be there for them - be present - people who are dying are ministering to you - just as much as you are to them - just be there - say that you care - be proactive around sad things - join with people who are grieving -
Let me know if you resonate with any or all of the Keys - I am here for you - just to be present and listen.
All Love - Rae Marie
All darkness is turned to light -